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Post by Deleted on Aug 30, 2016 17:20:54 GMT -5
Yes. Surface people are funny. They are into stuff. Everybody says they are too much into stuff. Too much stuff. Always fighting over stuff. Silly stupid. I don’t know. I’ve been with them for a while. I got some neat stuff!
I got a zap people stick. It hits every time! It keeps going and going… Five hands of five twice the guy said, whatever that means.
I’ve got gold disks. Shiny! And if you get enough gold disks they give you little colorful stones! All different colors. Different colors, different size, they’ll trade for different gold disks. It’s complicated, but shiny. And I’ve got marbles too. They don’t shine quite as much, but all different colors, and people fall down if they step on them. You want to throw the round stones, though, to make people fall, not the ones with lots of little flat sides.
And I’ve got clothes. Lots of clothes. Lots and lots of clothes. Just put these sleeves on your arms and make a wish and you’ve got whatever clothes you want. Except they are not real. They just look like they’re real, but things that aren’t real dry out real quick after you go swimming. Best kind of clothes, light, free, and you don’t ever trip over them.
No, I still haven’t figured out why they like clothes, but I’ve got enough imaginary clothes now that I should be able to figure it out.
And I got a keep warm stick. Keeps you warm all day. That’s the only bad part about imaginary clothes, they don’t keep you warm, but the stick will keep you warm. Even when the leaves are off the trees and the top of the pond is hard. Five hands of five twice!
And Harrow cards. Pictures. Colorful pictures. And every one is different! Different, but strange. Why did the woman cut off the guy’s head? Do giants really have rings in their nipples?
I’ve got a bell. Shake it and it rings. And a whistle. Blow in it and it sings. Just one note. It gets boring after a while, but it is a perfectly good note, and its not the same note as the bell. Candles. Fire on a stick. And a comp ass. It points at the Still Star, even in the day.
And did your mother ever tell you never eat meat on a string? I learned the secret. Hooks. Fish hooks. Horrible little metal hooks. You wrap string and meat around the hook and it grabs you by the mouth. Nasty! Don’t eat meat on a string.
And soap. Tastes awful. They say if you rub it all over you don’t stink. If you stay out of the water long enough you need it. Maybe. I don’t know. I’d rather stay in the water a lot.
Anyway, stuff. Not worth it, maybe. To get stuff you have to go all over the place, kill people, and steal stuff. Dangerous. The people I’m with are good at it, though, and I’m seeing a lot, learning a lot.
And they say there is another sort of stick that sprays all sorts of bright lights and makes people blind and dizzy… Five hands of five twice!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 1, 2016 10:28:12 GMT -5
I don't know. They are calling our last trip "On Hostile Waters." The waters were just fine!
It's the surface dwelling humanoids that were hostile!
I guess you can't call all adventures, "dealing with hostile surface dwelling humanoids" though.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 23, 2016 0:41:19 GMT -5
I have it all figured out. Five wands! I can help. I’m not big, mean or ugly. I don’t walk around in an iron suit. I can’t knock down two people with one swing of a sword. But I’ve got five sticks! I can shoot and hit from far away, all the time. I just hang in the back and zap people!
Just one question?
What was that orc doing there?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2016 4:29:21 GMT -5
I'm a soldier now! A professional! An ungrounded mercenary, with a cloak brooch to prove it! This means I'm qualified to walk over a thin board, crawl under sharp wire, swim, make my bed and try to hit stone people with a big stick. I'd still rather zap people with a little stick than bash people with a big stick, but real mercenaries use big sticks. I was accused of being too aggressive! That's good. I've been wondering if I'm being mean enough, but if real mercenaries think I'm too aggressive, I must be dangerous!
I saw a dragon. A big dragon. A crystal dragon. I was hired to protect his treasure. Imagine, protecting a dragon's stuff, gold, silver, crystals and stuff!
I helped convince a gambler cheater that taking a dragon's stuff was a bad idea.
I got to another plane. Not my water plane, but the earth plane. It's dark. There wasn't that much water or sky. Their lakes were full of shiny rocks.
I found a waterfall where the water plane was leaking in, but couldn't swim against the current.
I got a real magic ring! It protects me, like armor, but not very much.
And I got a glowing rock that spins around my head. It's cool. It's as bright as a torch. It's kind of distracting. I might not use it a lot.
And I'm learning about planes. I'm studying about who lives where and I can shoot flames from my fingers. Flames or cold. I like cold better, but fire is cool too.
And I can vanish. Finally! Mommy said that was important cause there isn't always a lake you can dive into.
Minnow the Invisible Mercenary...
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Post by Deleted on Nov 16, 2016 10:30:37 GMT -5
I figured, you know, when every one crowds in around the bad guy's door, you don't want to join the bunch. You know.... Fireball? Lightning bolts? Stinky clouds? All sorts of bad stuff. The place to be is in the back, and off to the side a bit.
But then, you know, if you are in the second rank, you can still play with dancing lights. Colors. Sparkly. Pretty. And the other people can see!
Did you know you can play with dancing lights when you're in the back, too? Fewer lightning bolts.
I have three Ioun torches now. One red. One green. One blue. Did you know if you spin them all three, you get weird fizzy spinning white? Nice! Anyway, does anyone in the crowd up front want to borrow an Ioun torch?
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2016 12:41:38 GMT -5
Interesting fight.
I stayed in the back this time, away from all the other guys, I let them light their own lights, and I didn't get hit by a lightning bolt this time.
It was a fireball. I think I have to stay further away from good guys.
First time ever I vanished from sight and became visible because the spell ran out rather than because I wanted to zap somebody. It worked, though. I rescued a wolverine on a burning bridge, fed him a cure potion, and fed me a cure potion.
The bridge was burning because of the fireball.
I guessed where the bad wizard was and danced some lights all around him. Ruined his day, I think.
He was the one that threw the fireball.
I was the only one that ran across all four bridges. Last two I was chasing an archer. Got her with freezing hands.
I could have used burning hands instead of freezing hand, but I didn't want to be near fire just then. Did I mention there was a fireball?
The wizard kept complaining that we were out to get him, but if he didn't want us to be out to get him, he shouldn't have thrown the fireball.
Water is better than fire. Much much better. You can't drink fire. You can't swim in fire. He should have thrown a water ball.
I've decided I don't really like interesting fights.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2016 11:16:13 GMT -5
I think I've figured it out. My zap stick? I thought is was a bad zap stick. It never did more than a little bit of zapping. I think, even though it hits every single time, that you are supposed to aim anyway?
And you've got to really stomp to Thunder Stomp. Last time out, at the fireball place, I stomped and stomped and nobody fell down. This time, chasing a little green woman, I stomped four times and she fell down all four! It might have been five, but she stopped getting up.
I may be getting the hang of this sorceress stuff.
And pigs can fly! I'm still trying to figure out where the best place to stand is. In the middle of a bunch is bad. In the rear is bad. Today I learned that way out in front is bad. Cannonball turned himself into a little green man and went way way in front while I was way way in back. He fell into a pit with a dry slimy oozy eat you thing. By the time I expediated myself and ran to the front, he was pretty much digested. Then came the pig with a magic apple. He flew by me, over the ugly, bumped Cannonball with the apple and Cannonball got a little better. I levitated him out of the pit while we walled him away from the ugly. The hero pig saved the day, but we couldn't save the hero pig. But we spent a lot of money and brought the pig back.
Expensive pork.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 17, 2016 10:08:11 GMT -5
I have decided I don’t like Runelords. Not living ones. Not dead ones. Not even really really dead ones. Not even really really dead one’s old unused churches.
Four harpies singing? That’s too much singing. I couldn’t get a note in edgewise. Well, I guess if you can’t throw any spells in the first fight, you can throw lots later. I sort of expected Willow and Merin to do a lot of our fighting. They are just better than us. They were better enough that they were the only two to ignore the singing. Fortunately, the two of them were enough.
Then we ran into some sin demons who knocked Willow down right off. How do we heal her and pull her free of the bad guys without her getting clobbered again? Merin slowed them down… Web. Tentacles. Fire Wall. I helped out a little. Glitter dust blinded a few of them for a bit. I used my zap stick. Our swordsmen hurt them some, but the sinners hurt us back more. It was good to have healers, heal sticks and heal juice while they didn’t.
And a wolf. We had a wolf. The druid held him back for a while. I think he was afraid that after Willow went down right away, the sin folk would just clobber the wolf too. Instead, the wolf ate the sinners. I think the wolf was tougher than Willow.
Nice wolf.
Not nice enough, though. The venture captains weren’t happy. We didn’t rescue any good guys. We didn’t kill enough bad guys. No attababys.
If they aren’t happy with us, let them explore runelord places.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2017 0:44:26 GMT -5
Dead isn’t very dead. We killed an elemental a while ago? He came back? We might not have killed him again, but at least we weren’t very dead either. Most of us.
I wasn’t very brave. We were looking for this horn, a horn that makes hurricanes? Found it, but the once dead elemental and his friends found us too. Oh hum. No big deal. We’d just kill him again, right? That’s what we do?
But, you know. All the time I stay twenty feet back and out of line from everybody else, just in case of lightning bolts. This time I was forty feet out of line, way way away from the line of everybody else. Good thing. Big zap. Shocked everybody. Well, everybody but me. It really is good not to be in line.
I figured right then we weren’t gonna just kill everybody again. We hurt too much.
So I vanished, took the horn and ran. Or, flew actually. I had bought my very first fly around scroll. Used it almost right away. I’ve decided I like fly around scrolls. Flying and vanish go good together. Before the not quite dead elemental knew what was happening, I was gone.
Not very brave of me, but we got what we came for and the big guy was really really ticked.
But my friends were kinda sorta dead. We got two of them back. It was good I didn’t die, cause I didn’t have enough stuff to get back.
I may need to get more stuff.
I did get a seventh stick! Glide! Almost as good as fly if you start way up.
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