The Magnificent Marvel of the Magnanimous Masked Messiah 2
Feb 1, 2019 12:28:16 GMT -5
Chris and Harriet like this
Post by IcarusIX on Feb 1, 2019 12:28:16 GMT -5
You thought the show was over, eh?
~The show must go on~
This new tale has nothing to do with the Masked Messiah. Now, before you groan, remember that I only promised to come back to tell more stories. I never said I'd be the star of the show next time. Now, sit back and relax. You're going to enjoy this tale, because it's at least as ridiculous as the last one.
We begin our story on a faraway world in an altogether different plane with a group of people that even I can safely accuse of being eclectic.
So, a caravan of freelancers are traveling to the frontier of an unexplored region known as "The Stolen Lands," south of the kingdom of Brevoy. The group of freelancers included a gnome with a big mouth, a rather incendiary ratfolk, a barbarian woman with a sword as tall as she is, a spurious mercenary drunkard, a corgi equipped with knives, and a bard made of bees. That would make our cast, respectively, Niver the Wizard, Fitch the Alchemist, Amiri the Barbarian, Tsun Ku the Monk, Sir Reginald the Rogue, and our Bard known only as "The Chorus."
Now, these freelancers were one of four groups chartered by the Swordlords of Rostland to explore and settle the Stolen Lands. In that charter, it was stated that any group chartered by the Swordlords would have the onus and authority to execute any bandits that were based throughout the region, whether by rope or sword. As one might expect, the last outpost of civilization that stood on the edge of the frontier, known as Oleg's Outpost (because a man named Oleg was the owner), was regularly plagued by bandit activity.
The freelancers met with Oleg (of Oleg's Outpost fame), determining that the Outpost was being shaken down every month by a group of bandits that were coming from the south. According to Oleg, the very next day was the day they were scheduled to return. The first time they had arrived, they had come with a dozen members including a cloaked woman that appeared to be their leader. The second time had been less, and the third time even less. Oleg and his wife, Svetlana, expected there to be even less the next time.
The first night at the outpost was spent in a disjointed fashion by the members of the freelancing group. The mercenary drank himself into oblivion by the campfire, the barbarian and the corgi spent the night digging holes in front of the outpost, and everyone else tried to sleep as far away from each other as possible. Svetlana was kind enough to make stew at suppertime before everyone went to bed.
The next day, all of the freelancers decided to hide around the outpost in anticipation of the bandits' arrival such that an ambush could be made. All except the mercenary, who decided to remain by the campfire where he'd slept the night. He was, as you have guessed, getting drunk. The bandits arrived, rather amiably, expecting to see Svetlana or Oleg but only meeting a similarly amiable Tsun Ku. The drunken monk offered the bandits some stew and served breakfast as if nothing was amiss. Meanwhile, Amiri went to Oleg and Svetlana where they were hiding to confirm whether or not the men seated around the campfire with Tsun Ku were really bandits.
They were.
So, Fitch threw a firebomb. This had the glorious albeit terrifying effect of, well, terrifying the horses the bandits had rode in on. Pandemonium reigned in the outpost as horses thrashed, ran, and trampled all around the place. A few bandits were also burning, which was less than ideal for them. Two more bandits over by the stable were helping Tsun Ku look for beer, which had been mentioned at some point during breakfast, but they quickly became more concerned with the firebomb that had been thrown. Sir Reginald scurried out from beneath a nearby cart and succinctly sunk his stiletto knife into the liver of a bandit that was in the stables. The bandit's liver didn't take too kindly to that, so it forced the bandit to keel over dead.
The acting leader of the bandits in this excursion, which was a man this time, and not the aforementioned woman the freelancers had been hoping to meet, attempted to get back on his (terrified) horse. In response, The Chorus sort of roared, if you can say a giant cloud of bees is able to do such a thing, and terrified all of the horses further. Amiri, not wanting the acting leader to get away on his now adrenaline-fueled horse, ran over and executed the man with her giant sword. It was all technically very legal, because it had been done with a sword--- which was outlined as a valid execution method in the previously mentioned charter of the Swordlords of Rostland.
At this point, the rest of the horses decided to bolt. One of them ran toward the stable instead of the gate, since it otherwise would have been forced to run past the swarm of roaring bees. As it trampled its way into the stable, it also trampled Tsun Ku and the remaining bandit that was with him. Sir Reginald checked to see if the trampled bandit was truly dead, but he was not. In fact, the man assured Sir Reginald he was, but Sir Reginald still did not believe him and forced the man to surrender. The defeated bandit was forced into the corner of the stable, where he was to stand facing the wall to think about what he had done.
One last bandit fled toward the eastern wall of the outpost, hoping to climb over and escape that way. This was rather fruitless for him, as Amiri was much faster and blocked his escape. He surrendered too, not wishing to be executed by a giant sword like his late friend. Amiri convinced the man that there were, indeed, fates worse than death and that she would, assuredly, give him such a fate if he didn't tell her what she wanted to know. So, the freelancers earned some info about the bandits' hideout, their numbers, and how to get there. Amiri released the man after, telling him to go north to turn himself in when he reached Brevoy. He agreed to do so, considering his other option was a fate worse than death.
The last bandit, who had been standing in the corner of the stable as he'd been told, was put to death. Giant sword comes down, head pops off. Oleg strung the bandit's body up by the feet so that it hung off the wall of the outpost outside, as a warning to other bandits. A few freelancers thought to themselves that Oleg might in fact be considerably hardcore.
Tsun Ku, being surprisingly fast and even more surprisingly coordinated after being so drunk, was tasked with retrieving the horses that had run off. The terrified horse that had ran into the stable was calmed. In total, the freelancers kept five horses out of the six that the bandits had brought with them. As Tsun Ku searched the plains for the horses, he discovered the recently mauled corpse of the bandit that Amiri had released. An animal, or possibly some more nefarious creature, had shredded the bandit rather savagely. Tsun Ku decided not to tell the others about it.
Oleg and Svetlana rewarded the freelancers with gold, more stew, and bottles of wine. Tsun Ku also managed to earn a bottle of Honeymead, which made the drunken mercenary quite elated. For some reason, Niver had started a fight with Svetlana and Oleg after breaking into one of their storerooms during the fight with the bandits. This somehow led to Niver insulting Svetlana's wonderful stew. This led to Svetlana giving Niver nothing for a reward, and sharing out that reward among the other freelancers. She entertained the idea of banning gnomes from the outpost, but Niver apologized before the end of the day before she decided to enact that ban.
After preparing for travel, the freelancers grouped up and headed out toward the bandit camp. They figured it was better to get the whole thing out of the way, slaughter the bandits, take back everything the thieves had stolen, and secure some safety for the outpost sooner rather than later.
So, we'll find them next time as they're exploring the plains in search of the bandit camp. What trouble can a drunken monk, a lippy gnome, a fire throwing rat-man, a bipedal corgi, a barbarian, and a swarm of bees get into? You'll soon find out.
Until next time, my dear audience.
~M
~The show must go on~
This new tale has nothing to do with the Masked Messiah. Now, before you groan, remember that I only promised to come back to tell more stories. I never said I'd be the star of the show next time. Now, sit back and relax. You're going to enjoy this tale, because it's at least as ridiculous as the last one.
We begin our story on a faraway world in an altogether different plane with a group of people that even I can safely accuse of being eclectic.
So, a caravan of freelancers are traveling to the frontier of an unexplored region known as "The Stolen Lands," south of the kingdom of Brevoy. The group of freelancers included a gnome with a big mouth, a rather incendiary ratfolk, a barbarian woman with a sword as tall as she is, a spurious mercenary drunkard, a corgi equipped with knives, and a bard made of bees. That would make our cast, respectively, Niver the Wizard, Fitch the Alchemist, Amiri the Barbarian, Tsun Ku the Monk, Sir Reginald the Rogue, and our Bard known only as "The Chorus."
Now, these freelancers were one of four groups chartered by the Swordlords of Rostland to explore and settle the Stolen Lands. In that charter, it was stated that any group chartered by the Swordlords would have the onus and authority to execute any bandits that were based throughout the region, whether by rope or sword. As one might expect, the last outpost of civilization that stood on the edge of the frontier, known as Oleg's Outpost (because a man named Oleg was the owner), was regularly plagued by bandit activity.
The freelancers met with Oleg (of Oleg's Outpost fame), determining that the Outpost was being shaken down every month by a group of bandits that were coming from the south. According to Oleg, the very next day was the day they were scheduled to return. The first time they had arrived, they had come with a dozen members including a cloaked woman that appeared to be their leader. The second time had been less, and the third time even less. Oleg and his wife, Svetlana, expected there to be even less the next time.
The first night at the outpost was spent in a disjointed fashion by the members of the freelancing group. The mercenary drank himself into oblivion by the campfire, the barbarian and the corgi spent the night digging holes in front of the outpost, and everyone else tried to sleep as far away from each other as possible. Svetlana was kind enough to make stew at suppertime before everyone went to bed.
The next day, all of the freelancers decided to hide around the outpost in anticipation of the bandits' arrival such that an ambush could be made. All except the mercenary, who decided to remain by the campfire where he'd slept the night. He was, as you have guessed, getting drunk. The bandits arrived, rather amiably, expecting to see Svetlana or Oleg but only meeting a similarly amiable Tsun Ku. The drunken monk offered the bandits some stew and served breakfast as if nothing was amiss. Meanwhile, Amiri went to Oleg and Svetlana where they were hiding to confirm whether or not the men seated around the campfire with Tsun Ku were really bandits.
They were.
So, Fitch threw a firebomb. This had the glorious albeit terrifying effect of, well, terrifying the horses the bandits had rode in on. Pandemonium reigned in the outpost as horses thrashed, ran, and trampled all around the place. A few bandits were also burning, which was less than ideal for them. Two more bandits over by the stable were helping Tsun Ku look for beer, which had been mentioned at some point during breakfast, but they quickly became more concerned with the firebomb that had been thrown. Sir Reginald scurried out from beneath a nearby cart and succinctly sunk his stiletto knife into the liver of a bandit that was in the stables. The bandit's liver didn't take too kindly to that, so it forced the bandit to keel over dead.
The acting leader of the bandits in this excursion, which was a man this time, and not the aforementioned woman the freelancers had been hoping to meet, attempted to get back on his (terrified) horse. In response, The Chorus sort of roared, if you can say a giant cloud of bees is able to do such a thing, and terrified all of the horses further. Amiri, not wanting the acting leader to get away on his now adrenaline-fueled horse, ran over and executed the man with her giant sword. It was all technically very legal, because it had been done with a sword--- which was outlined as a valid execution method in the previously mentioned charter of the Swordlords of Rostland.
At this point, the rest of the horses decided to bolt. One of them ran toward the stable instead of the gate, since it otherwise would have been forced to run past the swarm of roaring bees. As it trampled its way into the stable, it also trampled Tsun Ku and the remaining bandit that was with him. Sir Reginald checked to see if the trampled bandit was truly dead, but he was not. In fact, the man assured Sir Reginald he was, but Sir Reginald still did not believe him and forced the man to surrender. The defeated bandit was forced into the corner of the stable, where he was to stand facing the wall to think about what he had done.
One last bandit fled toward the eastern wall of the outpost, hoping to climb over and escape that way. This was rather fruitless for him, as Amiri was much faster and blocked his escape. He surrendered too, not wishing to be executed by a giant sword like his late friend. Amiri convinced the man that there were, indeed, fates worse than death and that she would, assuredly, give him such a fate if he didn't tell her what she wanted to know. So, the freelancers earned some info about the bandits' hideout, their numbers, and how to get there. Amiri released the man after, telling him to go north to turn himself in when he reached Brevoy. He agreed to do so, considering his other option was a fate worse than death.
The last bandit, who had been standing in the corner of the stable as he'd been told, was put to death. Giant sword comes down, head pops off. Oleg strung the bandit's body up by the feet so that it hung off the wall of the outpost outside, as a warning to other bandits. A few freelancers thought to themselves that Oleg might in fact be considerably hardcore.
Tsun Ku, being surprisingly fast and even more surprisingly coordinated after being so drunk, was tasked with retrieving the horses that had run off. The terrified horse that had ran into the stable was calmed. In total, the freelancers kept five horses out of the six that the bandits had brought with them. As Tsun Ku searched the plains for the horses, he discovered the recently mauled corpse of the bandit that Amiri had released. An animal, or possibly some more nefarious creature, had shredded the bandit rather savagely. Tsun Ku decided not to tell the others about it.
Oleg and Svetlana rewarded the freelancers with gold, more stew, and bottles of wine. Tsun Ku also managed to earn a bottle of Honeymead, which made the drunken mercenary quite elated. For some reason, Niver had started a fight with Svetlana and Oleg after breaking into one of their storerooms during the fight with the bandits. This somehow led to Niver insulting Svetlana's wonderful stew. This led to Svetlana giving Niver nothing for a reward, and sharing out that reward among the other freelancers. She entertained the idea of banning gnomes from the outpost, but Niver apologized before the end of the day before she decided to enact that ban.
After preparing for travel, the freelancers grouped up and headed out toward the bandit camp. They figured it was better to get the whole thing out of the way, slaughter the bandits, take back everything the thieves had stolen, and secure some safety for the outpost sooner rather than later.
So, we'll find them next time as they're exploring the plains in search of the bandit camp. What trouble can a drunken monk, a lippy gnome, a fire throwing rat-man, a bipedal corgi, a barbarian, and a swarm of bees get into? You'll soon find out.
Until next time, my dear audience.
~M