You are seeking franchise opportunities or internships at the Waterdeep offices of Acquisitions Incorporated. You all know know the popular tales of that well-known organization. For a nervously long length of time, you are kept waiting in a conference room at Head Office.
Post by Penelope Beauregard Honeycutt on Mar 10, 2020 10:00:18 GMT -5
Praise be and good day to my fellow light-bearing allies! My familial name is Penelope Beauregard Honeycutt, but you’re can call me me Penny. I hail from that Big Mountain over Yonder, where I lived with my entire clan! We have such a fulfilling life, guided by the righteous words of Father Increase Sugarbaker. He is the only thread to the Light, you know. I’ve heard tell of wickedly deceitful folk, spewing non-truths like Pelor can speak to many people and he is a kind and benevolent God. What small-minded folk- we all know Father Increase is the true voice of the Light! With a smite-full presence! A burning flame of retribution! He even managed to convert dragons to our cause! The escort our best and brightest out into the world for missionary work and spreading the good word, oh what Serenity and Spiritual Privilege! I worry myself with devotion to spreading the good word through music. The Light has gifted me with musical abilities, for me to share with my family! I am in fact the director AND manager of our choir, chorus, band, orchestra, and if funding goes through, our first a capella group!
Unfortunately, a calamitous folly resulted in a bizarre event. I was returning instruments to the storage space when I tripped and was knocked out by falling tubas. When I came to consciousness, I found that my entire family was gone. I found this to be unabashedly peculiar, until I thought - praise be, maybe my family ascended to The light’s eternal realm, in all its splendor! I realized, again, that I was not part of this transcendent moment. Was I not ready? Did my faith falter? I must show our father Increase that I am ready to spread the word of the Light, so that I may join my family again!
"It was House Lyrander and their filthy lies that put me here my son." Arkenfeld stated the barkeep. Great, now the daft bastard looks even more suspicious of me. Of all the rotten luck! I knew that Halaster would run me afoul of the ship captain!
"Mhmmm. Hmmm well I have never heard of this house Lavender. What did you expect from a brothel?"
"BROTHEL!!! Me? How dare you sir! I'm a made dwarf of house House Kundarak. I'm not one to be taken in by such base desires! The prices are outrageous and besides I am a gentleman you ridiculous anachronism! Well ok, so I have yet to get the Kundarak mark to prove it, but it's a certain as the sun rising. Have you been stuck on Xen'Drik soo long your mind addled?" Ahhhh, if only my beautiful Gail Thunderfoot were here, perhaps this bafoon wouldn't be pulling my beard! Where is that Halaster anyways? Infinite corridor my arse! I know when I've been drugged. "Come on, be a good boy and tell old Arky how much that scoundrel Halaster Blackcloak is payin ya for this charade."
At the mentioning of Halaster Blackcloak every one stared at Arkenfeld with not the best of intentions. The tension in the room would snap a bull's neck. It was at this moment that Arkenfeld realized that perhaps he had not been cheated after all. Perhaps this was some other world, one mired in pig dung and superstition but a different world none the less.
"Say lad, what do you call this town and how about I buy a round for all my new friends?"
"Nice to meet you Arken...Arkenfeld, my name is Penny and this is the great city of Waterdeep!"
Objective: Veteran combat cleric seeking business opportunities in adventuring field.
Combat with various martial weapons, wound curing, providing light in dark places, theological discussion, really good listener, effective communicator, skilled writer with strong attention to grammar and punctuation, excellent at conflict resolution
Barista Neverwinter Coffee Co.
I made the best damn latte in all of Faerûn.
Priestess Temple of Sêlune Neverwinter, Faerûn
Lit a lot of candles, assisted with healing and prayer services, personal assistant and secretary to High Priest.
Post by dragonforgotten on Mar 12, 2020 10:36:35 GMT -5
I wake up in the morning, make myself some tea and sit at the small table enjoying the weekly read of blood and mysteries. It’s is only part 3 in a long line publications. Very enjoyable. I’m ingrossed with Julis and Retas complex social drama when a letter suddenly appears near my elbow. I pause to look at it. There’s a wax seal on it. I squint at it. Bills. I rip the thing in half and return to my reading. By twelve o clock sharp I take my stroll through the veranda taking in all my domain when a pidegon flys towards me. I squint hard. Is it carrying something? I don’t think anything of it. I take up the hand cross bow and shoot it down twenty stone throws away. It falls to the reflection pool. My attendent claps. “Excellent shot sir.” “Indeed, it was.” “Is it wise that you shot the poor things down. It was carrying a note.” I look back at him in mock surprise. “It was? Oops.” My deliever must be too flat because I don’t get an answer. I tell him to go clean that up before my fiancé finds it. She’d be cross with me again. She tells me we must work on my issues but I don’t see what the issue is. Two sharp I am fencing with a servant and it is a pleasant warm up. By three i am at my desk when a rock crashes through the window, striking me hard in the head. A street orphan screaming at me about reading my mail before running off. Well. Indeed tied to the stone is a letter with a the same seal. Oh, have they finally reassigned me? If they had hearts I’m sure they would be very cross with my actions in the past years. I open the letter and it is not a heated letter for my blood but a job offer. A company is hiring and they are looking for someone of mine skills to add to their numbers. Hmmmm. At four I approach my fiancé at her longueing chair. “Oh, you got mail.” She asks me surprised. “Apparently so.” “What is it?” “Apparently a job.” “And you are leaving?” “I must.” She closes her book. “And where is it your are going.” I shrug. “To find a heart I guess. You did tell me I’m lacking one.” She smiles softly, a smile one only gives to a friend but not to a lover. “Gods you are a fool but your mine one.” She mutters. “Stay safe Layton. I hope you find what your looking for.” I nod. “Glory to the empire?” She asks amused. “Glory to the empire.” I return and leave the manor. It’s is only once I’ve entered the carriage do I realize I’ve forgotten my glasses.
Aquisitions Incorporated almost sounds too good to be true. I've only just retired from the guard, and this Omin Dran guy is offering us a lot of gold to investigate a crack in the ground. A LOT of gold. I've had my eye on a nice big greatsword for a while now, and this is my ticket to get it. All I have to do is deal with this interesting lot of folks, maybe fight a skeleton or two, and I'm golden!
Or, so I thought. Some of this group make me nervous. They speak some terrifying demon tongue, and some of us do not understand a word. I'm a bit suspicious of the devil pirate lady, she scares me. The halfling is the sweetest young lady I have ever met but she seems a bit... sheltered? She comes from some big family of sun worshipers from a mountain out yonder, but it really really doesn't sound like a sanctioned chapter of the temple of Pelor. She also has never eaten fish, a crime we quickly rectified.
The Yanki teenager is spunky and hilarious. The tortle... seems like a solid guy, just a bit stoned or confused. I think we will get along famously. Layton, the Paladin, has an issue with losing his glasses and looks a bit off, but he's nice enough. Drexler is great with a whip and a courteous guy, seems like my type of person. I'm used to being around gruff soldier types, so these people are a bit of change. I just wish they would stop with the scary language.
We visited Yard Yardley's, the 'only' fish shack in Waterdeep- definitely not true- and have a delightful brunch. It's delicious, regardless of its lack of variety. After that, we head off with the proprietor who is also a halfling, being led to the lamp shop that the sinkhole opened near. We immediately get jumped by an evil skeleton lady and a bunch of thugs.
"Your money, or your lives!" Threatens Skeleb****.
Layton, the paladin, tries to bargain with her with a whopping three gold. Rigby the Reckless charges in, absolutely manic... it is glorious! We have a brief scuffle, mostly knocking the guys out, but some party members taking it a little further and killing. I'm not really okay with that, I'm a doctor not a killer. Drexler finishes off the Skeleb****, reducing her to a pile of bones. She was a creepy one.
Penelope ties together the boot laces of those we left alive, and I go around pulling their pants down. I'm all about law and goodness, but they need to learn their lesson somehow. I go to wake one of the guys up with some healing, but get stopped by Layton.
"Wait! Let me do it!"
"Um... I don't know how you would know what I'm doing, but okay?"
Layton lays hands on the thief, and he wakes up.
"Hello!" I start. "Were you-"
"-were you working for that skeleton lady?" Layton interrupts.
I sigh, gritting my teeth, and turn to the paladin.
"You know what, if you're so eager to question him, why don't you do it!" I snap.
Layton looks perfectly happy to take over what I'm already trying to do. He's a smug one, isn't he.
"On second thought- no! I have this handled. Back off, paladin!"
He sulks off. Paladins, hmph.
"Hi, sorry about that. So, who was that and was she your boss?"
We find out that she was in fact their boss and they are inductees to the Xanathar Guild... thieves, of course. Oh, and he also tells us that the sinkhole opened up in their warehouse. How convenient! We let him go and he runs off leaving his cronies behind, and we head out.
An old man comes walking towards us, grinning stupidly. Just as he is about to approach us a pale arm grabs him from a dark alley and pulls him in. Obviously concerned for his safety, we run in. A dwarf and a tiefling stand there with the old man.
"What are you doing with that old man?" I demand.
"What are you doing with that old man?!" Drexler comes up next to me and smiles when he realizes we said the same thing at the same time. I feel myself blush a little.
The dwarf and tiefling get defensive, so I strike.
"Devil Dog, she's casting a spell!" The dwarf yells. My guiding bolt hits her, and she suddenly grows huge! Mark it.
We fight valiantly, knocking out Devil Dog and clearly scaring the giant dwarf. She turns invisible and runs off with Devil Dog in her arms. I immediately check on the old man.
"Are you okay?"
"I like cake!" He grins.
"He's fine. Let's go."
The old man wanders off when we get back to the street, and we move on. We find some guards posted up by the warehouse, and expect a warmer welcome than we receive. The elf is particularly bi***y. He is annoyed that it took us so long to get there and demands that we must clear out the rift underneath the warehouse. Two other guards went in and were never seen again. He starts listing off names and we soon realize they think we are another group... so did Omin think we were other people, too? My new name is apparently The Other One.
Heading into the warehouse we find a very obvious sinkhole and fissure. Nobody believes me when I announce I can see extremely well in the dark, in fact, almost forever. I actually see better in the dark than the light, the sun kind of hurts my eyes. I'm a servant of the moon goddess afterall, nighttime is my time.
I head down the rope into the pit, followed by the others one by one. Arkenfeld the dwarf and I proceed inward to take a look, and I see a long corridor that turns a corner. We want to go further in, but suddenly huge rats come out behind Arkenfeld and attack! I do my best, fighting with my hammer, but soon there's three of them on me. One gets a good bite in, and suddenly I don't feel so good.
Next thing I know I'm waking up on the ground, the squeaking bastards still surrounding me. The tiefling tosses a potion bottle aside, smashing it, and I taste a familiar minty flavor on my lips.
"You're welcome!" She snaps, and moves away.
I scramble to my feet, and start striking at the rats. Soon we kill them all, with no casualties except me nearly. Figures the cleric gets knocked out- how embarrassing!
"By the grace of Father Increase Sugarbaker- you're alive, Abby!" Penny hugs me around my knees.
"It's Aly," I pat her on the head. "Y'know what, Abby is fine."
In the light provided by Drexler's whip, lit up courtesy of me, we can see that these rats are a sickly shade of green. I wonder what other monstrosities might be in these tunnels? This job better be worth it!
My name is Drexler Cold-Pepper. I am one of many sons and daughters by blood or adaption of the Cold-Pepper family of Baldur’s Gate. My family owns a lot of land, is kind and treats their people well. When I came of age I left seeking my own way. Soon enough I ran into a couple of mercenaries from the Purple Flames.
My time with the Purple Flames was great! Caravan duty had its perks. I got to travel all over. I got to meet prestigious and influential merchants. I also got to put my whip and rapier skills to use protecting the caravans.
As a mercenary unit we went where the money was. My skill set leaned more toward stealth and a light touch versus using brute force. No matter what we were hired for we honored the contract.
My final job with the flames was a long haul caravan to Waterdeep. After getting paid I wondering the city for a bit checking out the sights.
Before long I saw a sign for Acquisitions INC. Interesting concept. An adventuring party funded by a corporation? Similar to a mercenary guild. How hard could it be?
Soon enough I find myself inside a well decorated building sitting at a really nice table with several other people. There was a cute little halfling female. A sullen Githyanki teenage girl. An on edge and weird looking human paladin. A dwarf fiddling with some tools. A teiflling with a spear. A large Tortle in a grass skirt. And a rather pretty human looking female with striking silver’ish hair wearing chain mail.
Omin Dran barges into the room, rants about a sink hole in the city slams a bag of gold down onto the table and leaves before we can react. We chuckle amongst ourselves and leave.
We hit up a fish shack, Yard Yardley’s on the way to the sink hole. We get a halfling to guide us to the exact spot but get jumped by thugs and what looks like a reanimated skeleton. The skeleton is in charge and demands our money. The paladin steps in front of me and instead of charging forward to destroy the foul undead creature he tries to parley with it. My experience with paladins os limited but his action takes me by surprise none the less.
The rest of us attack the thugs. My whip cracks. Rigby and I work well together. The others seem to find a natural rhythm in combat as well. At one point I hear Penelope whisper words of encouragement to me. The skeleton puts bow to use launching arrows at us. I make my way towards it. Pulling a throwing ax from my belt I hurl it as hard as I can! It strikes true hitting it in the chest! It falls into a heap of bones and robes.
I find toe bones and gold in pouch among the remains of the skeleton. The others are tying up the thugs that were not killed in the scuffle. Layton the paladin tried to take over interrogating a thug that Alastrina the silver haired cleric started to. The lady put the rich boy in his place. I immediately take a dislike to the paladin. I will have words with him later about stepping in front of me and trying to play nice with an undead monster instead of outright killing it.
Learning nothing of value from the guards we move on. We see an old man get grabbed and pulled into an alley. Turning the corner we see a teifling and a grey dwarf. After a short scuffle we let the grey dwarf carry the teifling off. Saving the old man we tried to talk to him but he clearly has something wrong with him. Poor thing. He did get all weird and prophetic when he saw Sleep. I think it is just a poor old mans attempt at humor.
The sinkhole happened in a warehouse. Although we were stopped by a drunk halfling in the street I was impatient to press on and complete the mission.
The guards standing watch at the warehouse believe we are another well established and known group of adventurers. Although I do not correct the guards I will make amends after we explore the sinkhole and find the missing guards.
We slowly make our way down the sink hole. By the time I get down the others are fighting rats the size of dogs. Green rats! Alastrina falls to a small rat pack while the paladin fumbles with his shield in the back of the fight. I make a mental note to discus tactics with the rich boy later.
Rigby is fearless and takes many hits while fighting. Between my whip and his staff and claws we work well together. Before I know it the fight is over, Alastrina is awake and recovered from the rats. I stride over and stare steadily into Laytons oddly shaped eyes. Taking a breath I begin to speak....
Post by jasonandsleep on Mar 23, 2020 14:11:53 GMT -5
Well, 6 hours in Waterdeep and I've already got myself a gig. I headed over to that Acquisitions Incorporated place that Pimbles mentioned and Bhall's balls! did things happen fast! I walked in there thinking maybe I could get an office job or maybe work as some kind of magic-y courier or gopher. Nope! I and a bunch of other random job seekers immediately got ushered into a fancy conference room for a meeting with the CEO Omin Drann himself! Holy gos sebirds what a stone-cold dum dum this dude is. Not only did the dude mistake the bunch of us for a seasoned mercenary company, (I mean, one look at this ragtag bunch would be enough to disprove that notion) but he dropped a bag of 500 gold at our feet and then left without taking it with him! (don't worry, none of us we're dumb enough to snatch it up). I swear to Gond babe in a couple of years I could be running this place! Anyway, we decided to take the job and we are going out to find a hole in a warehouse somewhere, guess we'll see how it goes. This city is huge! It's going to take me a long time to find a post office so don't be surprised if you get a bunch of letters all at once. when I get set up in an apartment I'll send you the address so you can come to visit! Oh, and fun fact, one of my new friends, is an ex-merc from the Purple Flame! Isn't that the group that gave you Zhentharim boys so much trouble at Darkhold? Don't worry lovey-dovey I promise not to flirt with him (too much) Oh, and I laughed while reading your last letter when you said you were doing "special exercises" to keep yourself energetic and fit for your young paramour. You have to describe to me what you're doing, I imagine you jumping over horses in full armor or something. But please dear don't do anything too crazy, you know I love your body just the way it is;) Anyway, we're heading out, I promise to tell you--in the vaguest way possible---exactly what happens.
Miss your stupid face sLeeP
So I made my way to Aq. Inc. and immediately got a job investigating some kind of shady warehouse or something, should be a hoot! The Aq. Inc. people clearly recognize talent when they see it...actually they may have mistaken me for someone else but who cares right, as long as I get my foot in the door! I've been put into a squad with a bunch of other random-ass job seekers and Sune's left nipple are they a weird bunch. We have: 1. Scary pirate warlock Tiefling. 2. Dwarf with gizmos. 3. Secret snake Paladin. 4. The cleric who forgets they can heal. 5. ex-Purple Flame merc! (that'll go up Jaque's butt sideways!) 6. A Tourtle Ninja! (not lying) 7. A halfling bard who worships something weird. 8. The world's smartest and sexiest wizard.
So yeah I guess there my team now? We already had our first skirmish a bunch of dudes and one skeleton boy tried to take our gold. I told a firk! ding! blast!ing awesome joke (everyone laughed) and then I catapulted a scimitar right through a dude! There was like an absolutely huge fountain of blood and some of his entrails fell out! It was so firk! ding! blast!in' sick babe, I wish you could've seen it. Now the crew has gotten sidetracked helping some crazy old man. This bunch gets sidetracked a lot but that's okay, it gives me time to write letters, draw and check out this beautiful city! When I get paid and get set up somewhere, I'll send you the address so you can come to visit. Ooh, maybe we can plan so both you and Jaque could come at the same time! Having both of my cuddle muffins here with me would just be too-too divine. Anyway, babe, I'm not going to lie your last letter freaked me out a bit. Your talk of going into a "remote location" to deal with some "rough customers" made me worried, you know I'd never pry into your Emerald Enclave business, but I read the papers, I know what's going on down there. You know I've dealt with some Luskin raiders in my time, please write to me as soon as possible, so I know you're okay.
Post by dragonforgotten on Mar 25, 2020 1:57:47 GMT -5
Twelve o five, I arrive at head quarters of aquaistions only to realize that i am late for tea and head inside the nearest tavern. I’m have a pleasant afternoon when the entire tavern shakes. The scaless panic and sadly my cup was the first causality of the day. I now sit in a empty tavern without anyone to attend to the shattered porcelain or the spill. What could have all the fuss have been? Such a mess over a little tremor. I shrug my shoulders and ask the barkeep for a rag and proceeded to clean the spill and safely dispose of the shards in the proper waste disposal receptical after paying for my scones and departing. I reach Acquisitions INC to find a pair of adventures waiting for the job I’ve been sent for. All humans, all paladins. No, that shall not do. I reschedule my appointment and return to my inn to sleep off my long travels. —
Returning on the morn after my spot of oolong tea and biscuits early, along with eggs served sunny side with a healthy smatterings of greens. Perfectly punctual. I wait on a bench inside the expansive, impressive headquarters, exactly as told. I place the name tag on my mail for everyone to see but as I reach into my inner pockets I find them unfortunately empty. Oh drat. I must have left them in my office. How unprofessional of me. I continue to wait, reduced to squinting ferociously as I read the waterdaven news paper. Soon the people that I will surely come to know begin to flitter inside as they wait near me and begin introducing themselves. A extremely pale cleric; moon iconography, very interesting. A typical human of great strength and proably equal bravery, a bipedal tortoise who looks far to causal for a setting such as this; he has no pants after all. A green child with strange ears; aquatic? Fish? I do not know, worrism. A hafling who speaks of false prophets, a very angry teifling, and a dwarf. I nod my head in agreement. Excellent. I will fit well with this much diversity. I put down the paper and approach them. “Greetings my friends!” I call out warmly. “I am Layton, servant of house Sepra and I am a paladin in training” I bow politely. “It’s a honor to serve.” They all look at me as the halfing steps forward “Hello there my name is Penelope Beauregard Honeycutt. Have you heard of the good name of Father Increase Sugarbaker.” I rise an eyebrow. “Afraid not.” “So what was your job before this?” Asks the white haired priestess, as I straighten my back. “I was simply a courtier. For thought I am both a talking piece to people of wealth and privilege as well as manager of their affairs and business.” “Why become an adventurer then?” “Simply put, it was time for a change of pace. I trust we work will together in future endeavors.” With that we are shuffled into a meeting room and we wait. And we wait. And we wait. Thrifty minutes later I’m feeling very put out. “I’m going to see what’s taking so long.” Before Drexler is able to get out of his seat the man himself bursts open the door speaking loudly and barely looking at us. Omin Dran is ranting and raving about an earth quake opening a hole in one of his ware houses. “There was an earthquake?” I ask surprised. So that was what the fuss was about in the tavern yesterday. He then orders us to get to the bottom of this mystery. I fold my arms. “What’s in it for us-.” I’m cut dead in my tracks as a large amount of gold is slammed onto the table. “Never mind.” With that amount of gold I’ll be whatever this man wants. We leave with a mission in mind but first, fish and chips. Rigby the walking tortoise known as a tortle ferry’s us to yard yardly were we enjoy a quaint bit before this mission. We ask person after person but it feel like we are being turned in circles. I’ve barely explored the city myself. I come onto for business and if not business then always in the company of my lady and she does not wonder far. I do know one place. A quant if disorderly tavern near trollskull alley. I wonder if they are still open? We find a gnome selling potions in a little stand and for steal as well! What a surprise. 10 gold is such a cheap asking price. I do wonder if he is indeed selling us snake oil. Heh. Happy with his purchase Rigby asks for direction and lucky the Gnome knows. We packs up his stand and we follow. As we walk I hear Penelope and the warlock speaking to each other in infernal. I listen intently intrigue but saying nothing. It takes a simply turn down a dark alley way till we are set upon by seven thugs and a skeletal woman in robes "Your money, or your lives!" I straighten my collar with a bored glare, the gnome looking antsy. Well, this is a bother. I’m not particularly a fond of shedding blood after a nice luncheon. The skeleton is of interest but from the way her men hold their sword they are all simpletons of the lowest order but they do have number. A few of our members look to be on the frail side. All it takes is for luck to frown on us and this could become a dangerous situation before we even reached our destination. Heavens knows what we’ll find in the crevice in the ground. Hard to judge if my new motley crew can handle this. Such a waste of time and resources regardless. Should conserve our strength for the real fight. How cumbersome. I step forward holding out my small pouch of gold. “Here. There’s three gold in here. It’s all we have.” I tell her straight face. Little does she know that this isn’t all my gold. I have two more in my boot strap. She looks interested till the spells begin to fly and a brawl begins. Rigby goes charging into the fray like a mad man as the rest descend upon us. I make some progress but I can feel I am getting horriable cut up till small Penelope uses her magic to heal my wounds. “Much obliged, little mrs.” I tell her as I cut the man down harassing the warlock. As Drexlar cracks the skull of the skeleton wide open she crumbles into powder just as the last of her men fall unconscious, two of them dead. I tie up one of the fellows by request of the cleric Abby but I stop her as I see she is going to waste one of her spells on a simpleton. I lay hands upon him and he sputters back to life "Hello!" She starts. "-were you working for that skeleton woman?" I hear a sigh and the grinding of teeth, slowly the silver haired woman turns to me as I watch dispassionate. "You know what, if you're so eager to question him, why don't you do it!" She snaps and stomps off. I shrug, turning back to the man. “Very well. As I was saying-.” "On second thought- no! I have this handled. Back off, paladin!" She pushes me to the side as she takes over. Well. Have I stepped on a nerve? Goodness it’s hard understanding why she is so upset. I am skilled in the arts of vocabulary and speak, I believed I was being of help. Was I wrong. Dexlar seems similarly off-put by me. Have I offended him as well. At least they wear their emotions on their faces. It makes it easier to piece together my errors. Though what I’ve errored on eludes me. We learn things about the lot but nothing of interest. After giving the man a round to run he is karmedically put to an end by a run away carriage. Reminds be of a great satire I read once. The gnome ran in our scuffle but he at least left a note which penny keeps guarding religiously. I am not pleased by the hoarding of information. Eventually she tells us it is a map to our destination. —-
We continue our merry way till we here a cry from a dark and lonely alleyway. Well, lonely is a bit of over dramatization now isn’t it? Just a simple day time mugging of a ditching old man till dark claws drag him into the shadows. It turns out people who become muggers have broaden their variety. Instead of pasty faced humans theirs a dwarf and a teifling. How interesting. Dear Abby goes charging right in, demanding the release of the man as we all storm the duo post haste. It turns out the female dwarf is not as smart as the common verity of dwarves but this one does possess a few tricks up her sleeves. She grows large and begins beating upon my comrades. I look at the teifling known as Devildog. My how uninspired. It makes me glade my kin never reduced to calling me snake knight. That would be abyssmal. I ask him if he is the leader in his own tongue for curtasy sake but I only get a very bore threat. How dull. He tries to cast some magic on our own dwarf and when he fails miserably he tries to scamber off only to be knocked to the ground and delivered a kick to the skull by yours truely just as the dwarf becomes invisible. Hmm. That can do. She must drop this nonsense. I look down at sir devildog and think of how dependent this dwarf is to him. Ah, inspiration. I take my sword and lay it across his throat, boot pinning him to the ground. “Drop you invisibility or I shall part his head from his shoulders.” I don’t get a response. How disappointing. It seems the art of a god threat is lost on them. Pity. Suddenly the teifling is dragged away from me as her invisibility falls. I could run a blade through him now but I don’t see the point in murder currently unlike the our own teifling who looks hungry for blood. We let the failed muggers crawl away with their tails between their legs as Abby attends to the senior. He further confirms my theory till some sense of clarity comes over the man and he speaks gibberish to the green child in heavy eyeliner. Sounds like a bunch of rubbish to me though I am curious where this sudden well of wisdom come from. We Tavel closer to our destination and just as I feel we’re close everyone finds a very inebriated halfling very entertaining before moving on. At last. We find the right ware house. Yipe. We’re stopped by guards, one a very disgruntled female elf and her friends try to rebuke us with eye rolls and sighing till she meantions names. We all jump at the chance. We want inside the pit and I have to pretend to be whatever his name is I shall do it. We enter the wear us and theirs a pit. Abby has impressive vision for her eyes know no bounds. So bravely she volunteers to go down into the pit first. I do not like our cleric going down into parts unknown but this isn’t a spike tactic. I feel I should have gone ahead but with my armor I shall either fall down off the rope, clatter about the place, or worst yet slow down the few waiting for the rope. So I wait for the faster members to descend down the rope. Everything seems to be according to plan to the screaming reaches my ears. Ah. I’m needed. Hand over hand I’m down the rope lickety split. Abby is down by Drexler and the warlock are by her side so I put them out of priority as I spy the warlock give her a potion. It’s then I see them. Rats, the size of cats. Glowing green as they squeak and snarl. I look to my side to see that they have Rigby and penny surround. They’ve taken a liking to small penny. No time for sheild. I take sword in both hands and cut a rat down in twine. Rigs then knocks another buggar dead cold. More rats descend upon us. They give me a good nip in the ankle as I kick one off. I take in the crevice in the walls dispassionate. Hmm. This could be bad. I cut another rat down and soon the swarm begins to die. I raise my arms in the air, pulling in a false smile as my heart remains the as dead as always. “We are victorious!” The dwarf then vomits on the floor as boils appear all over him. Ah. I already spent my cure all for the day.... sucks to be him. Draxler stares at me long and hard. I do wonder what has his nickers in a twist. Oh well. Glory to empire. This servant still lives.
Miss Honeycutt seems a bit fascinated by the rats, and picks one up to carry with her. It's nearly as big as she is! We discover that the rats are not green by some scary mutation, but they have dye in their fur. Perhaps that druid festival where they dye the river green happened afterall, I thought it was canceled due to plague?
We find a finger on the ground that appears to have come out of one of the rats. It has a ring on it, which Sleep takes. I pick up the finger and examine it.
"I can't tell if it's male or female... it's partially digested."
Someone gags. They're clearly not blessed in the medical arts.
"Anyone want this finger?"
"No thanks, I have eight perfectly good ones!" Says Drexler.
"Oh, I'm so sorry- you're missing two?"
Drexler stares at me like I have two heads, then holds up his perfectly normal hands.
"Eight fingers, two thumbs."
I finally get my heart to stop racing. I was so worried!
"Ohhh! You scared me, I thought you were missing fingers!"
"I have very little education and even I knew that!" Penny laughs.
They all start making fun of me, but I know in my heart that humans have ten fingers. Thumbs are definitely still fingers, I went to medical school afterall! I toss the finger aside and proceed onward, ignoring my mean co-workers.
The next room we come to has four pools of water and images on the walls of people going into them. One of the pools is green and one blue.
"We found the rat pool!" I announce.
Rigby immediately jumps in the clear pool and swims, and when nothing bad seems to happen to him I go over to the blue pool. I poke the water, nothing happens. I dip my long white hair in, and sadly it doesn't come out blue. Layton meanwhile jumps into the cloudy pool, goes under water and comes back up with a smile on his face.
"I think I just got acid resistance! It's worth going underwater, I think!"
Rigby dives fully into the clear one, and comes up a moment later looking frazzled.
"I just saw math! It was horrible!"
He doesn't look too good. Guess I will try mine! I dive under. Suddenly my mind is accosted with horrible images... images from war, things I had forgotten. Flesh melting off bones, severed limbs, people screaming, buildings burning while burning people flee, tax policy speeches- I swim swiftly to the surface and erupt from the water with a scream.
"I just saw Lord Neverember's new tax policy speech!" I pant.
"That's terrible!" Layton gasps.
Drexler dives in the green one, and comes out saying he is poison resistant. So, I dive into my pool again. Nothing happens, and thankfully I don't see any more political speeches. So I get out and jump in the green one, and also get poison resistance! These pools are awesome!
The door to move forward is locked, and of course none of us are nefarious enough to have thieve's tools. I hit the lock with my warhammer. It doesn't budge. I hear a hissing sound, and turn around to see a tiny little coral snake hissing aggressively. Before I fully understand what happened, Sleep hits it with a ray of frost and the snake turns into Drexler.
"Weird." I mutter and turn back, whacking the lock again.
This time Penny and Rigby turn into snakes! Penny Snake slithers over to me and tries to bite, but she barely grazes my boot. I bend down and pick her up, draping her around my neck.
"What an adorable little snakey you are, Penny!"
"They're poisonous!" Layton shouts.
I shrug. I'm poison resistant and I highly doubt they would hurt me. Drexler, however, goes in for a punch and I just barely dodge getting his fist to my neck.
"Ah! That's rude, whip boy!"
Rigby snake slithers over and tries to bite me as well, but fails and ends up grabbed up by Layton. Suddenly the nearly weightless snake becomes much heavier, and I pull something in my neck.
"Might I inquire as to whether you may set me down, Adelaide?" Penny's voice asks from my back.
"Oh, yes- of course!"
"Well, bless your heart!"
I crouch down and let the halfling scramble off my back, and watch as Layton rolls out of the way of the huge tortle that just appeared over him. Rigby goes into the cloudy pool to calm himself or something, and ends up coming out feeling horrible. He can barely move and looks like he's going to keel over. Suddenly a silver key appears in midair! I go to grab it, and the paladin swoops in front of me and takes it as my arm is raised awkwardly in the air. I sigh louder than I intended.
"Oh, sorry!" He backs up, holding the key to me. "Here, you may do the honors Alastrine!"
"No. No, it's fine."
"I insist, take the key-"
"JUST OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"
I walk away, doing my breathing exercises, and go to Rigby. I've always been a calm individual, I am very good at keeping my cool... but this group is testing me.
"Alright, big guy. Let's get you healed up."
I do what I can for him, and then we all watch Layton open the door. Drexler is coiling his whip, and I watch his muscles rippling as he does so. Penny is staring too.
"Hey, Whip Boy, can you crack your whip?" I ask.
"Um.. I guess."
He spaps it, making a satisfying loud crack. Penny and I both release a sound of satisfaction and share a look.
Layton gets the door open and steps back as though waiting for us to do something. He looks at me expectantly.
"Do you want me to look ahead?" I ask him.
"If you want to!" He steps back.
I look down the hall, and see a long passage and an ornate set of double doors ahead. I relay this to the Paladin, and he leads us forward. I would go in the front but the big armored guys always want to for some reason. I don't need a shield, I've got Selúne on my side!
Proceeding through the doors, Layton goes forward and erupts into flames! We follow suit, hoping it was a one time thing, but all of us catch fire as we move in. Layton then falls into a pit, which rapidly begins filling with water up through some grates. Small glowing blue fish swim in, and he panics and climbs out.
"Dudes, those are harmless!" Rigby says, and jumps in. He looks so happy! "Put your hand in, it feels really cool!"
I lay down and stick my hand into the water, and some of the little fish swim over. They start nibbling on my hand, but it doesn't hurt. When I take it out it seems like they just exfoliated my skin!
"Spa fish!" I exclaim. "I love them!"
Rigby climbs out the other side, and presses onward. A puff of green smoke erupts, but he comes out the other side completely fine. I follow after him, going around the pool, and am met with another puff of green smoke. I, however, walk out completely covered in green dye. Looking at my normally pale silver hair, it's very, very green.
"This is not going to come out!" I laugh. "I wanted blue!"
Layton looks at the door and it has a lock, but the key from the other room doesn't work on it. We all start trying to figure out if there's some method to this room, whether there could be a key hidden somewhere or a puzzle to solve, but we come up with nothing.
"Miss cleric?" Layton moves away from the door, gesturing to it. "Could you do the honors?"
I groan audibly and kick the door. It busts right open, half the hinges breaking in the process. I look in and see several slabs against the walls. They hold human looking bodies wrapped in cloth. They start moving towards the door.
"Mummies!" I shout.
They're on me before I can do anything. The last thing I see is the creepy mummies converging on me, all of them wearing fancy silver necklaces. One clubbers me in the head and I go down.
I wake up to Layton holding his hand to my forehead, his healing giving me just a little bit of energy. I use it to get out of the way, crawling into the room the mummies came from. One tries to get me, but misses, and then they all start attacking Layton. He goes down, but wakes up a second later, shaking it off and getting back on his feet. I whack one of them with my warhammer, and then another strikes me again. Once more I succumb to unconsciousness.
I wake up feeling awful. My head is pounding terribly, with every beat of my heart. This has not been my day, at all. I did four years in the Neverwinter Guard and I've never been hurt as much as I have been today. And I'm a damn healer!
"Welcome to the land of the living," Drexler says, clapping me on the shoulder when I sit up. I clutch my head groaning.
"Did you kill them?" I ask.
"Yes. They were zombies."
"Oh, that's nice."
"Hey, do you guys mind if we take a snooze?" Rigby asks.
"Probably should, you're both looking a little green." Says Layton.
The others agree to let the two of us rest another hour, although they've been waiting a few hours already for us to come to. After a quick nap, we get up and raid the bodies of the zombie mummies and check out the room they came from. I take one of the necklaces, and immediately put it on. Sleep finds a scroll in the zommummy room and eagerly opens it. She looks a little disappointed, and holds it out to me.
"Abby, can you read this?"
I take a look, and it's a scroll of Bless.
"Sure can! Thanks, kid!"
Pressing on, we follow a huge tunnel system, most of the adjoining tunnels blocked by rubble. We were advised to clear this whole place, so I don't want to miss anything.
"Do any of you have chalk?" I ask.
"I do!" Penny pipes up.
"Perfect! Can you draw on the walls to mark where we have gone?"
"Of course! I will draw the symbol of my people!"
The little halfling draws what looks like a volcano about waist high to the rest of us.
"It's perfect!" I smile at her, and move back up to the front.
We reach a cave in in the direction we want to go, so Rigby, Drexler and I move the rubble. We are very efficient and get it done without issue. This leads us to a circular passage overgrown with bug vines. Someone mentions they're Blood Weeds, which can drain us of our blood if we get pricked by their thorns. Ahead, Layton finds an obvious trap in the ground, which we easily circumvent. The passage expands into a cavern, filled with dusty webs and some suspiciously human shaped cocoons.
"There's a giant spider ahead!" Penny announces. How she saw it from so far below us I do not know, but she is full of surprises.
The spider is quickly driven off before I even get in the room, so we go check out the cocoons. Inside we find the bodies of three giant rats, an explorer and a kobold. Both the kobold and the human have three flasks each and the human has a potion.
"Adirondack, holy water!" Penny hands me a vial of it.
Upon inspection, the dead female human is missing a finger.
"It's as I expected! The finger was female!" I announce.
The next chamber we come to has stalactites and stalagmites, and a bunch of treasure and junk pulled everywhere.
"Guys, there's a goblin in there behind that pillar over yonder!" Penny whispers to us.
"Hey! I see you, goblin!" Sleep shouts. "Come on out here!"
The goblin comes out, brandishing a stick at us.
"I am Gorko, I am a great wizard! Gorko is merciful, go away and I will not harm you! I have a powerful wand!"
Looking at him I can tell it's probably just a stick, and the poor guy is shaking. He looks terrified by us. I step forward, hands raised in a gesture of peace, and talk to him.
"Gorko, is it? I'm Alastrine. I am a healer and a warrior. I can tell you are afraid of something, and I assure you we mean you no harm."
"You... you won't harm Gorko?"
"No, you are safe with us. We are adventurers working for a corporation. We came here to find some other employees and clear this place out of bad guys! I'm not usually green, by the way."
"You're not green?"
"No, it's dye."
"And do you think you will keep going green after it washes out?"
"I hadn't thought of that. Maybe, does it look good on me?"
"Yes, actually. Oh- hello!" He winks at Sleep.
We all talk to the goblin as he warms up to us, and offer him our protection. He wants to join us! He tells us there is a Carrion Crawler up ahead under an unstable part of the ceiling, and suggests that if someone could hit the ceiling then the stalactites may fall on it and do some damage. He's also here because he came with his friend named Karahan, who is dead, looking for a lost shrine.
"I'll go check out the ceiling situation," volunteers Drexler. "I'm fairly sneaky. Only thing is it's dark."
"Not anymore!" I grab his impressively toned bicep, and bestow my power of dark vision on him.
"Woah!" He smiles. "How did you do that?!"
"I embrace the dark, dear Drexler." I boop him on the nose, and watch him move off into the room.
There's a loud noise as the ceiling falls, and Drexler comes back to us a little bloodied but grinning. He killed it! We go through the rubble, and find some treasure. There's an awesome longsword with skull and crossbones on it, which I really want, but Sleep gives it to Layton. I think they think I'm one of those softie clerics and not a trained soldier. I'm saving up for that greatsword, anyway.
Next we come to a huge circular chamber filled with severed feet. Yes, feet. There is no blood, which is a bit confusing. In the middle is a huge granite block shaped like a foot. Going in, trying to skirt around the foot, we are beset upon by feet! I bring my hammer down on one, destroying it.
"I killed a foot!" I announce excitedly.
"Yeah, we're not exactly fighting cable trolls." Drexler comments.
"We can't all be cool whip guys, Drexler!"
More feet move in on me, and one stomps on my own foot. It hurts really, really bad!
"Ahhh! I'll kill you for that!"
The giant granite foot tries to stomp Layton and misses, thankfully. We all finish off the attacking feet and run from the chamber. As we leave, more feet fall from the ceiling. What in the hells is this place?
Leaving, we come out into another round room. This one is filled with a huge cesspool of stinking sewage. There's a walkway that goes around it, and we head single file toward it so as to distance ourselves from the murky water. Sleep tells us about this being the remnants of some excitement by one of the masked lords of Waterdeep, where he tried to make a sewer system going straight into the Plane of Filth. Unfortunately it was abandoned when horrible creatures started coming through onto this side.
"Be careful, I feel planar magic in here." She says.
Poor Drexler is gagging behind me as we walk.
"There better not be a-" gag. "S*** monster!"
"You okay back there, Drex?"
"I'm-" blech! "Fine!"
We hit the walkway, and as we move around the water's edge, suddenly the surface starts rippling. A massive tentacle shoots out and grabs Penny! She goes unconscious, and almost immediately wakes back up. What a strong little lass! I whack the tentacle with my hammer as others attack, but it doesn't let her go. It pulls her into the water, and she goes under the surface. It doesn't look very deep, but she's so small!
Drexler jumps in after her, and I follow. I try my hardest to free her, but the damn tentacle is waving all around! Layton joins in and gets Penny out. I turn to try to hit the thing, and am walloped in the stomach by the tentacle. It grabs me, pulling me into the waste, and I sputters choking on nasty water before once more going out.
"Aly... Abby... whatever your name is?"
I feel someone shaking me, and taste healing potion in my mouth again. Not again! This makes four times in one day that I've almost died. I open my eyes, noticing a horrible smell, and see Drexler and Sleep looking down on me.
"There she is!" Drexler claps me on the cheek, and it sounds very wet and gross.
"Drexler... you smell terrible!"
"So do you!" Drexler and Sleep help me to my feet, and I look at the lot of us all covered in green dye and sewer water.
Post by kylacreepslayer on Mar 27, 2020 21:37:51 GMT -5
Praise be to therein lies the holy power of our father Increase Sugarbaker! I have had the pleasure of aquaintancing myself with a cornocopia of individuals attending this bizarre locale, and subsequently joining up into a merry band of misfittins! Oh, I do pray that I am not in over my halfling head. I was not expecting to find myself in such a unpredictable predicament, and yet the Light brings me to this palacade of refinery! While it appeared at first sight rather ostentatious, I came to meet a powerful gentlemen simply offering us currency in exchange for galavantering into a hole. My stars and suns, are all adventurizing parties given such a benign first mission?! I strung up my pack and fell behind the party.
Oh dearest Pelor, what an astounding array of companions! There was a very large aquaphillic gentleman - he shared his deep knowledge of wet rats, I believe called fith? fish? I will inquire with him again. A very sickly young lady initially self-imposed a sense of apathy, but later seemed pleasant enough. I do wonder what happened to her nose, poor darling. There were two very strong individuals, much bigger and bulkier than any human-shaped person I’ve met before. The Light-Bringers were always rather frail and draped in robes, but Father Increase would say they were exhausted from their missionary work. Bless those souls! I do wonder what became of them, and the half-dragons. And of course my clan. I did see a Halfling in this sprawling city! After speaking to him for a few minutes, I eventually believed him to be not of my family. Oh bother. There was a gentleman with a whip, which was extremely intriguing. Oh pelor, I failed to mention the Horned One m-adjacent woman! When I extended an olive branch in Infernal (naturally, I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible), she quickly responded with aggression. I simply hoped to share our mutual dealings with the Horned Ones! What pleasantries her kind have shown my clan, eagerly escorting our missionaries to the most needy of communities. I do hope she deduced that I meant no insult of injury.
I found a green rat, a delicacy I have not had the pleasure of digesting! I also slayed a few delightfully evil creatures in this hole! I felt quite capable, for a little ol’ Halfling. I did nearly meet Pelor in the flesh due to a rather unpleasant tentacle thing. My dearest companions jumped into the wrecked liquidations and revived me! Praise be to Father Increase, it was not my time to depart this material world. While we continue into this bizarre underground journey, I do hope my compatriots warm up to the light that radiates through all of us. The Light is a source of positivitness and personal development! I’m sure they will come around to see the powerful impact of the Light’s force. Maybe this is my mission! If I can build a modest collective of like-minded individuals, maybe the majesty of Father Increase will shed off on me, and I may discover the truth - if my clan did I fact join our glowing father in the afterlife, or they departed this place in a tangible manner.
My whip looks odd with a light spell on it. Ally and Penny seem fascinated with my whip. Abbey wanted to crack it for her. Weird request.
Penny kept a green rat to eat for later. Roasted rat will do the trick in a pinch. More than once I have had to eat rat in order to survive.
Moving on we come to a room with colored pools of water on the floor. Rigby jumps in one. Most of us do. Some pools either grant protection or harm. I don’t know why. Looking around the room I see pictures on on wall depicting people dunking themselves in all of the pools. Rigby must have had the same idea I did because he immediately takes a multi-colored plunge.
A key appears in the air between the pools I see Alastrina begin to say something and move toward the key but Layton literally jumps in front of her. The rest of us awkwardly watch the exchange. Dunno what Laytons deal is.
The door is opened we move on into a trapped hallway. Gouts of fire burn us. A trap door opens up but actually isn’t all that bad. It fills with water and small glowing fish. Just past that Allie steps on something and “Poof!!” Green smoke covers her. Stepping away she is green. All green. Like rat green. Torch light! Green smoke green rats!
Coming to another door we poke around for a bit until the cleric kicks it open. Fight time! The cleric drops quick as what looks like mummies pours out of the door. Working with Layton and Rigby we keep them busy as Penny and Sleep attack from range. Things go good for a bit. Layton brings Alastrine back....prematurely honestly for eliminating the threats should be the priority. Two of the mummies jump Rigby and knock him out. But between the rest of us we put the undead down. The poor green cleric got knocked out again.
Feeling ok we press on. The carved worked tunnels and rooms give way to natural stalagmites and tights. Penny spots a goblin hiding! Turns out the poor little guy is part of an adventuring party and his master was either killed or separated by a carrion crawler in the next room. Lucky for us it is nesting under a weaken ceiling. Torch Light! If I sneak down the tunnel and throw something at the ceiling the falling debris may be enough to kill it. Only problem...I cannot see in the dark. The light green cleric touches my arm and suddenly I can see past the light of my whip into the darkness as if it is dimly lit in shadow. It is amazing.
Grabbing a javelin from Layton I take a deep breath and slowly creep down the passage way. I can see everything! Up a head I hear something shift in some rubble. Coming to the end of the passage it opens up into a large chamber. In the middle of it sits the crawler. Looking up I see a stalactite barely hanging on. I squint at it. Time slows. My arm draws back. I feel the muscles in my arm pulling and stretching to their limit. My torso turns. Everything whips (no pun intended) forward. The javelin sails through the air silently. It slams and sinks into the stone with a resounding crack. The crawler hears it and snaps its head up. A spike of stone begins to fall down along with some smaller debris. Calling for my friends I smile.
The crawler is quick and moves to the side a bit missing the spike but gets hit with a lot of the smaller stones. It sees me and rushes forward. Stopping just within whip reach tendrils shoot out of its mouth and strike all around me. I dodge most of them, those that hit me sting like hell. I strike it with my whip. It roars with pain. It charges me. Drawing my rapier I brace for its attack. It bites at my leg and latches on for a brief second before letting go. That hurts, a lot. But I use the pain to focus my next attack against it. I drive my rapier through its eye! It shutters once and dies just as the rest of my companions get to me.
We search the room and take a break. Layton claims a magic sword. I sense more tension between the cleric and paladin. We find some potions and other things.
Coming to the weirdest area yet...the foot room. Spreading out I step close to Penny. I don’t want her curiosity to get the better of her. The severed feet start hopping toward us and we attack them! My whip cracks and a foot stops hopping. Soon enough we make it through the foot room.
The next room.....the poo room....is tough to talk about. I used to have a problem with poo’ing as a child. To scare me into using the privy my father told me a story. He claimed that a poo monster would grow and erupt from the backside of little boys that wouldn’t poo in the privy. He got my older brothers in on it and they all ganged up on me. Long story short...anything poo related I have difficulty handling.
This room is a sewer. According to Sleep it was also a former portal to the plane of Filth. Which just reinforced my fathers poo monster story. Trying not to puke in front of the others, I gingerly make my way around the pit of poo water. Suddenly a tentacle erupts from the water and grabs Penny. We all do the best we can but it drags her into the poo water. Without hesitation three of us jump in. Thankfully it isn’t deep. Whips, swords and war hammers attack the tentacle. We free Penny but Alastrine is taken under. Someone else grabbed Penny. I furiously stab the tentacle trying to get it to release Alastrine. While one final thrust it goes limp and Alastrine floats to the surface of the poo water. I grab her and get some help out of the pool. Facing the pool again I vomit into it. Well that was....fun.
Post by dragonforgotten on Mar 29, 2020 23:59:35 GMT -5
Turns out these rats are not mutant abominations but normal vermin dyied green. Well, the more you know. One of the Vermont cough up a human finger with a platinum ring which the green child claims and Abby the finger. She can not tell it the victim was male or female. After a bit of confusion over how many digits Drexler processes we carry along deeper into the tunnel. It appears that the tectonic shift of yester eve has uncovered a temple of sorts. We set inside the crevice to see a chamber of sorts, pools of many colors lined on the opposite sides of the wall with diagrams of robbed figures submerging into the pools carved into the stone. An impress pair of large double doors lay ahead of us with a massive lock barring our passage. All my chaps looks at the pools. We all know what to do, it’s just rather off putting to simple throw ones body into mysterious substances without hesitation. I go to the foggy pool curiose. Back at home I witnessed a ritual performed on a human to try to convert him to into the pure ones, one similar when one of us ascends. We threw his body into a pool just like this filled with blood and venom and watched his body contort and twist for days till the lad finally expired. It came as no suprise, only the strong can become like us. If you are strong you may one day earn the right to ascend, by the empires blessings of course. I wonder... I sit at the ledge and without hesitation dip my legs in then submerged into the pool. I can not see but I feel a tingling throughout my skin and scales as awareness of what has transformed my person echoes in my mind. I now can not be harmed grievously by acid. Drat, how disappointing but the perk is nice. I climb out of the pool to see a gathering of worried faces as I lift myself from the pool, empty my helmet of liquids and slick my wet hair back. “It appear I am now guarded against the effects of acid.” I inform them. Eyes go wide and a mutter if excitement goes up. They each pick a pool and off they go. Tortoise Rigby and white priestess have a patically frightful experience in their respective pools. We all inspect the lock but it appears that none of us are if the skilled variety. How cumbersome. We much have a skilled man if we are to progress but for now. “Oh Abby dear. I believe we could use your gentle touch in this.” “Right!” She takes her warhammer and slams it against the door as hissing suddenly fills our ears. The beautiful sound of hissing. Turning around theirs a coral snake behind me, reared back in fear and defense. Before I can act the you wizard casts a beam of frozen energy striking the poor dear till suddenly the glorious snake transform back into human Drexler. Pity, it was an improved look. She stikes at it again and now penny and Rigby have become snakes. Rigby looks rather upset in being a snake. I can not see why he’s think so. Isn’t it better to not be encumbered by a encumbersom shell? I attempt to commune to him, too.. understand my perspective on this but It doesn’t seem to take hold. I grasp him instead as he hisses enraged. “There, there. No need for such a temper.” He then bits me, his fangs sinking into my hand as I stare at him bemused. “Your a lot more spiteful as a coral snake arnt you?” I pull him off my hand as he wraps his coils around my arm as I hold him by the head. Suddenly the snake begins to tremble. Oh dear. I throw him to the ground just as he turns into a tortle again. “Well I see your back to your clumsy form again sir Rigby. Did you enjoy bitting me?” He grumbled about it all being... as he puts it.. totally not cool. I do not understand his new age lingo. Have I’ve fallen behind on my slang? Goodness I hope not. I get some strange looks from Abby but think nothing of it. It seems his time as a snake has given the wise Tortle some insight. He begins throwing himself into pool after pool with disastrous consequences. He’s become haggard with exhaustion but with his pain becomes progress. A key appears! “Well played, sir Rigbus.” I approach it and grab it just as I notice Abby has her hand outstretched. “Oh, would you like to do the honors madam preistess?” “No it’s fine!” She huffs, I shrug. “Suite yourself.” I take the key and progress to the door. The lock sings as it clatters to the ground and the door opens. I bow with arm directing for and the other folded at my back. “After you?” She gives me a scowl before peering ahead with her unparrelled sight. “There’s a large room ahead.” She informs us, I clasp my chin in thought. Clearly this room must hide a plethora of traps. Oh we should have hired a skilled man after all but we shall make do with what we have. Dexlar puts his unclean mits on my shoulder. “Well Mr Paladin in training. Think you can lead us ahead.” I nod my head. “Of course. Please stay a recommenced 5ft away as I march through the preverbal grasps of pain and death.” I tell him. “That’s alittle dark!” “Why is that? It is my duty after all?” I heft up my shield. “Well, tally ho then.” I begin to walk through the room only to be consumed in flames. When the flames stops the sound of clicking echoes through my armor as my scales shift uncomfortably in my back and my skin screams in pain. I laugh turned my head to them. “Don’t step their comrades.” I continue my march as I hear the pained cries of my friends behind me. “I do believe I said not to step there.” I continued as I’m again consumed by flames and continue walking still. I continue till the floor suddenly vanished under me. “Oh dear.” I then fall, ungracefully into a pool. I stumble for purchase till I tilt my head up. The water feels nice against my burns. “It appears I have fallen!” I call out to my comrades. Looks like I’ll have to climb out. Just as I sling my sheild to my back small glowing fish begin swimming through the grates. They begin nibbling on me. “I believe I have been joined by flesh eating aquatic creatures of the small verity.” I inform my audience above dispassionate as I climb out Post haste. The moment I reach the very top Ridby dives in. It appears I was correct. Flesh eating but only of the dead flesh variety. Everyone moves ahead without me in my musings, the green child and penny still in the back of the group watching. We make it to the door at least if a few of more greener then when we last started. Unfortunately we are bared passage by another locked door. We look around but there is no obvious clue on breaching this threshold. I look to Abby. “Would you care to do the honors again.” She huffs and smashes the door in but it seem becomes an act we regret. Undead stumble towards us and they maul Abby. Back to back me and Drexler begin to hack away at those rotting pieces of spoiled carrion. Doing rather while but I have my eye on sir Rigby. He is not faring well and the more we hack the reluctant these chaps seem to expire. They simply stand and fight. It is when Rigby falls I think of Abby. We shall all surely parish if the cleric is dead. Surely if I waken Mrs cleric she may heal sir Rigby and we can fight with even greater power. I reach and heal Mrs Abby if only alittle bit. I unfortunately did not ration my healing well today. The strain of this pit has been hard indeed on my poor muscles. She awaken and stands. I expect her to be wise and heal sir Rigby but she takes her sword and swings. Noble effort but not the one I was hoping for. They turn on her but sadly knock her down again. They don’t miss me of course. They strike me down as I hit the floor, sounds and sight fading.... I blink awake to Drexlers disheveled face. “How long have I’ve been disposed then?” “About an hour.” “Ah, I see.” I stand, approaching fallen Sir Rigby. I ruffle through his bag and find his healing potion. I then approach the green preistess and slip it between her lips but she does not stir. I look at it again, noticing seeds in the red juice. I drink it myself smacking my lips. “Goodberry juice.” Thus begins the time of waiting and healing. Out of luck or some gods mercy we are undisturbed in our repose. Sir Rigs snaps awake, then Abby as we repose ourselves even more for the battle ahead. We take the finally crafted necklaces and scrolls for ourselves as we wait for our aches and pains to mend. When they ache just alittle less we move on only to stumble upon the web of a giant spider. Two unfortunate souls already dry of their bodily liquids. The spider tries to grab dear Penny but Drexler give it the old sword and whip. A fasting moving rock makes the arachnid retreat to its home. Surely this shall not be the last we see of him. The bodies seem not to be the missing people we tasked to find so I do not care for corpses. We continue on with alittle more loot from the carrion. The caverns begin to twist and turn as Abby brilliantly scrawls our direction on the wall. Such great forethought! We come across a room filled with plant life, terrible thorns jutting from each vine. Sir Rigby identifies them and we spend extra caution in avoiding them. I spat a trap door in our path. Sir Rigbys stoops to lift the lid off only to take a dip right in the shallow acid pool. Only when he climbs out do we notice the sign. Carrying on now. We stumble upon a room with a small goblin. Interesting little fellow goblins are. Their bones break so easily. Took interest in the woman of the group who are now dyed green. Does he seek a companionship? He informs us of a carrion crawler ahead. Sounds like a overgrown centipede to me. I use to crush them as a youngling. Drexler volunteers to be bait. I bring up other suggestions to limit body harm but they do not appear to be well suited for this plan. I give him a javelin. He returns shortly victorious if bloodied. Well, he is strong. Thus should I rethink my order in this parties social structure? Perhaps but I refuse to be a pushed lower in the step pyramid. I am strong. I am informed of magic long sword and I jump to the chance to wield it. With one such as my abilities it will greatly advantage the collective for me to possess it so why does the white priestess look Displeased. Have I once again stepped on a social taboos? So tiresome. Does she not tire of the misery of emotions. They seem to bring more pain then pleasure which I am thankful I lack in. We carry on to a room filed with severed feet. Such an oddity. They all begin to attack as I hover near our small traveling goblin who thinks himself a mage. He kills one as I kill the ones near him. I’m startled to my whits when a stone foot nearly crushes me underfoot. I know understand why vipers like to bit feet. We leave the moment the severed feet are destroyed, not wanting a repeat with the floating stone foot. We enter into a large room with a glowing green substance in the middle of the center. Intelligent sleep uses her deductive reasoning to inform us of this being waterdeep lords failed experiment in waste disposal through extra planear means. Color me surprised as I have not heard a word of this but surely if this is a failed experiment I would not want my name on this project and would only usher my involvement through guard words and hushed whispers. Drexler seems to be taking this news very hard. We shimmy along the edge of the glowing pool careful with our footing but just as we make it halfway across a long green. It snags our halfling with startling speed before I can blink. “Oh this is bad.” Drexlar, Abby and I begin hacking away at this unholy abomination but it quickly drags Penny into the unspeakable sludge. Drexler looks pale and about to lose his composure but he steals himself all the same and dives in, desperately trying to pry penny free. I jump in soon after and break the abominations hold. I swim back to shore, taking Penny out of danger only to watch Abby fall into a similar situation as the cursed creature snags her as well. Drexlar furiously hacks away while I attempt basic CPR and chest compressions. I am successful as I check her pulse. She lives still and the creature dies as Drexlar cuts the creature in half. He grabs at the white priestess and is also able to successfully revive her. Sleep looks grateful as she joins her small friend. I sigh as Drexler allows himself a moment of weakness to empty his stomach. Perfect place for it after all. “That was a closer shave That if liked.” I pat Drexlar on the back. “Fine job comrade Drexlar. Truely commendable.” He gives me a weaving look before turning back to vomit. “Deep breaths comrade. We shall face more horrors surely in the next room! How exciting. We shall bravely fight together agreed.” He continues to vomit. “Most excellent!”