It's me your little clomp clomp. I really miss you guys a lot. I'm scared I might never see you guys again. I was trying to find some good seashells for your necklace mom. But I wasn't a good enough swimmer. I thought I was done for but then that boat found me. They had so many clams on that boat. Luckily I brought my clam clunker with me. Also just in case you're ever on a boat. Just because its called a poop deck, doesn't mean that you poop there. The captain was not happy with me. He dropped me off in a big city and said that someone might know how to get me home. But I met a few nice people so that's nice. I'm going on adventures with them. They like me cuz I can fix their ouchies. I've been a schnoop boopin ouchie fixing foot boppin adventure Tortle. We had to go to some town for a reason. I was sleeping I think when they said why. But when we got there, there was a big dragon flying around. He's a big jerk. And he brought his jerk friends and they were picking on the people in the town. My new friends and me gave those jerk faces a walloping. I learned that my clam clunker doubles as a pretty effective foot bopper. We saved the town and made all the dragon jerks go away. Tomorrow we have to go find them and stuff. I'm going to go to bed now.
Hi guys, I miss you. But I want to tell you that I'm ok and I'm having a great time. I told you that I met some friends and that they said I could go with them. They're really nice. Well some of them are really nice. A few of them are completely off their rockers. After we saved that town we have to go find out things about stuff. So we walked ffffffoooooorrrrrreeeeeevvvvvveeeeerrrrr.. we also have a new friend that's coming with us. Well.... I think shes a friend. Not sure. She stabs people in the foot instead of bops them.. she probably doesn't know how to. But shes ANOTHER sharptooth. So that's neat. Theres another guy on our team.. is it to early to call us a team? I've never been on a team before. But I like the idea of it. So theres another guy on our team who has a bird. It's a mean bird. But he sends it away and then his face gets all weird. I was examining his noggin while it was going on and I fixed him. He thinks he can see what his bird sees. I think that's a little bonkers. I was playing hiding games with the new sharptooth. She hides behind rocks, but I can TURN INTO A ROCK!! TORTLE POWER!!! when we were looking for camp jerkfaces we got attacked by more jerkfaces. I bopped some foots, and I found out I'm very good at throwing rocks. After we beat up the jerkfaces I had to boop some ouchies. Sharptooth and our metal guy.. I dont know his name but he says he's a palindrome... I think it just means he's everyone's pal. Just like me. Maybe I'm a palindrome too! But my pal was sort of hurt so I booped his schnoop. Then we had to talk to one of the jerkfaces. He was actually very nice when I talked to him. He told me alot of stuff about their camp. So I thought we were good. But now everyone wants to go find the camp anyway. They're trying to be real sneaky about it. My best sneaking is when I'm a rock. So that's exactly what I'm going to do. Bye guys.
My friends all went into camp jerkfaces. I decided its best for me to blend into my natural surroundings. I make a pretty good rock, not such a good jerkface. I even had some woodland creatures come visit me. There was a chipmunk who must have thought my head hole was a cave or something because he walked right in. We rubbed noses and he left me an acorn. I hope my buddies are ok. They probably are... maybe I should go look for them. I'll write you guys later.
My team came back and found me. They told me that most of the jerkfaces had moved on from the camp and they were going in to check it out. One of the sharp teeth, I think they go by Alizard?? I dunno. But they have been kind of looking out for me and she said it was ok. I heard something about a hatchery and I thought that is awesome because I came from an egg too. I'm basically an expert. Anyway...it was not a good hatchery. There were evil mushrooms in it. They hurt my friend, and they hurt me. BAD MUSHROOMS! After the mushrooms we went a little further and found a huge cavern full of bats and GIANT MOSQUITOES!! I HATE IT HERE!! Once we were out of the bat and mosquito cavern there were a couple of those little sharp tooth things. One flew and it dropped rocks on my friends. I'm learning rocks are very good booppers. After those guys the magician guy sent his bird to check out the rest of the cavern a little bit. He said theres more jerkfaces. At this point I've kind of had enough of this. We were just supposed to look and report back to town. But my team is insisting that we take on the whole world it seems. I am not a fan of this. :/ I'll let you know how it goes next week.
Things took a turn for the worst. My shiny friend is not around anymore. He just disappeared. I'm gonna miss that guy, he was really nice. At least I still have the sharptooth girls looking out for me. So remember how I told you there were more jerkfaces around and that we should just go back? Well someone in my head told me that we have to stomp these guys out now before they hurt more people. I only came here to do 2 things. Boop schools and bop foots. And I'm all outta boops. So we beat up the jerkfaces and I gave them a stern talking to about how they should be behaving. Then we kinda took a break for a little bit. It was nice because my toosh is tired. Then someone came up with a great idea that we should keep going into the deep dark cave of death. I'm really starting to question the brains of this team. Anyway so we're walking along and then from out of nowhere we were attacked by something big from the darkness. Oh goodness. Hopefully I'll be able to write you guys again.
I hope that you got my letters. I gave them to a very nice man on a boat, who said he was going to get them to you. So if you did I'll fill you in a little bit. There was a big monster with tentacles. HE TRIED TO EAT ME!! But he actually turned out to be a very nice monster. He was just hangry. I think we've all been there. Turns out he likes eating humans. While this doesn't really sit well with me, I like eating clams and fish. So Turtles gotta turtle monsters gotta monster I guess. Plus these guys were jerkfaces. The sharptooth Ard has been really nice. Shes been taking care of me. I think you guys would like her. Oh oh oh theres a wizard too. Hes pretty cool. He does magic and hes really good at it. What else can I tell you? I found some really cool rocks. And I made friends when we got to the city so I gave them some of my rocks to remember me. Th et n I gave the letters to the guy with the boat. Then Ard said we had to go to a meeting. My whole team was there talking about stuff. It sounded important but I fell asleep. So now we're going to somewhere. I have a horse though. I named him pickles and he likes carrots and he takes big poops.
My team left the city, but not before this really nice guy bought us some new stuff. I HAVE THE BESTEST CLAM CLUNKER EVER NOW!!! It can clunk 3 clams at once! Then they took us on a boat. Pickles came too.the boat ride was ok. Then we were on the boat and this really big fat monster said we had to pay him to go under the bridge. We didn't have enough money for him so then he tried to kill us. He threw rocks at our boat. So I threw rocks at him. But then everyone started falling into the water and there were murder logs in there. It was awful. One bit me. They bite really hard. 😢 but the worst part is they tried to eat my sharp tooth friends. I swam under the water and saved Larax, but just as I got her to safety Ard got dragged down into the water. The big crazy guy went in though and got her with the bear. Oh btw there was a new guy with us who can be bears. I dont even know what to do about that. But after we got everybody back on the boat we made it to the city. It was a big city. And my team keeps watching looking for someone. I dont know who so I go fishing. But then they told me I need to get a job. What the fudge!! I got a job with this point ear guy. Hes ok. He talks alot. His brother doesn't talk at all. But he does things with his hand to tell you what he is saying. Its kinda neat. Anyway we are on a convoy going north. I hope things go well. We found this nice man in the middle of the road buried with just his head sticking out. I went over and I helped him out. I booed his schnoop and gave him some water too. I'll write you guys later.
Sorry it's been so long since I last wrote you. Work has been crazy busy. Boopin schnoopers, boppin poopers, and at the end of the day my dogs are barking. This road trip so far has been really good. We have seen some really cool stuff and I'm finding amazing rocks from all over to add to my collection. I think we're almost to where we're trying to go it will be a relief to get off the road for some time. I think everyone has kind of had enough of one another. My sharptooth friend Ard almost got fired the other day. She was caught in some other guys wagon and there was yelling and screaming and just all sorts of commotion. Apparently she lost her book. But the next day I was able to find it for her. Turns out she must have dropped it and a little man found it. He was very kind and returned it. I think the long trip is getting to her. My other sharptooth friend. Well she worries me. I dont think I've ever seen her without a drink in her hand. She is always as ll stumbly bumbly slurring words not mKing much sense. Also we have a new sharptooth friend who joined us since I last wrote you. He seems very nice. And much more sane than the other 2.. maybe it's a gender thing? Girl sharptooths are bonkers, but boy sharptooths are normal. Anyway I think that I'm going to try to turn in for the night. I'll try to write you more and send out these letters when we get to a big city with boats.
Our road trip finally ends only to begin another. Thankfully from what I hear this trip is not as far. The last few days of our trip was brutal. There were these tiger people who attacked us for no reason at all and they were not easily deterred I'll tell you. I don't really know how to say the next thing that I want to say. But mom, you know how you always told me that I was special? What did you mean by that? Because I have noticed along this trip that some really cool stuff keeps happening. Like it was a little bit here and there at first. But now I can do some really neat stuff. There is a warm comfort for me that I felt when I got caught in the riptide and carried out to sea. Now it is always there, and every once in awhile if I listen carefully I can hear a voice giving me advice and guiding me. Or at least I think I am. I could also very well just be off my rocker. Anyway I sent out the last few letters I wrote you earlier today. I'm going to go to sleep now we have an early morning tomorrow as my team starts a new trip to Never Winter.
I do not know what to say. I am not in a good place right now. The trip on the road was brutal. We were attacked by these big lizards, and by lizard people. They were almost like my sharptooth friends, but not as nice. These guys were jerkfaces. But we finally made it to the city. My friend Ard was attacked and she got into a fight with this guy from our last road trip. HE TRIED TO KILL HER!! I ran in and stopped him though. Ard was safe. For the time anyway. Mom, dad... 2 of my friends died. We were looking around and found a secret passage. And it led us to a swamp. Then more of the lizard jerkfaces came. I hid in the water, but Ard tried to pretend to be one. They did not believe her. They attacked her and then one by one everyone else started to attack... and fall. That voice I told you about that I sometimes hear. Was screaming in my head to hold still and hide in the water. That it was a fight we could not win. The voice was right. My team did not fo so well. And my friend Ard died, and Ramiel died too. I tried to boop the schnoops and save them but I could not. I feel awful and its eating me up. I must somehow become a better booper of schnoopers. To make sure nobody else gets hurt.
I dont know what is going on anymore. We met some new people when we woke up. They sort of seem nice. As we were burning Ard and Ramiels bodies one of the new people cut off Ards fingers and tried to keep it. NO! NOT ON MY WATCH BUCKO! I had some harsh words for her and then put Ards finger back. After that we took some of those boats and floated down the river. It was pretty ok. Some frog guys were along the river and they said hi, they gave us a spear so that was nice. We eventually found that castle. It is not that nice. I mean it's not bad. It's not great. But they have a zoo with the big lizards and there are some big frogs so that's kind of cool. We started walking around the castle and so far everyone is being really nice to us. This guy gave me a whole bunch of food and then one of his friends got hurt so I booped his schnoop and made him feel better. I dont know what to do now though. My team keeps talking to this bird and I guess we're going to some kind of meeting. I dont know. Anyway I'm gonna get going now I'll let you know what's going on as soon as I know.
My team went snooping around the castle. It was really old and creepy but kinda neat. But we had to be quiet about it, Always with the quiet with these guys. Well I am no good at the quiet and I'm not saying that it's my fault, but I'm not saying it isn't my fault that we were not very good at the quiet. We came across some more of those dragon dog things. They tried to eat us again. We were able to put them to sleep though. Then we found one of those guys with the neat hats sleeping. My team was trying to talk about where else to go but u found some stairs so I went up the stairs, and the wizard chick pointed at me and made me invisible!! I'm so super stealthy now. Just like dad. I found a desk and I drew a picture but then I heard noises downstairs. Kovatch was wrestling with that mean wizard guy. So then I went and sat on him, but he tickled me butthole and got away. Then we started getting attacked by more jerkfaces lizard people. But then there were all these butterflies around me and they were beating up the jerkfaces it was really neat. I like butterflies. I'll write you guys later.
I remember dad talking about these big monsters that he used to fight in the woods and stuff. I forget what they're called but I remember what dad said, and I think my team and I just found a bunch of them. We have new peoples on our team by the way. Theres that weird girl omen I think her name is? She has the most cutest bird that I just wanna cuddle. Sometimes she gets this weird face and she says she can see through her bird. I think shes a lil nuts. Then theres karsie shes my new BFF because she took care of me in the swamp from the murder logs. She is also I little nuts because she just goes around hitting stuff with this crazy happy grin on her face. Kovatch is pretty cool. He does flips and dips, and hits really hard. Kinda like you dad. Hes very brave although not the sharpest spoon in the shed. Then theres Morgan. Theres so many chicks on my team, but shes pretty neat she does magic kinda like omen, but not as crazy. And now we have a new guy on our team. I forgot his name but turns out that he is a schnoop boopin clam clonkin brother from another mother. We have this other new person on our team, who's like really quiet and sneaky and talks to snakes. CCCRRREEEEEEEPPPPPYYYYY.. Anyways my team is pretty cool and very good at stuff. We fought a bunch of those things I was talking about and we found a ski lodge. I hope they have hot cocoa.
Things are not going super well for me. My friends are still looking for these dragon worship people. Which I thought was kind of fun at 1st. Like a scavenger hunt sort of. But then we find them and they are just mean. They are always hitting me and my friends. If you were here mom, I imagine you would give them a stern talking too. In our latest adventure we found this really big ice castle. Which I'll admit it was pretty cool. I hope I see Elsa. But as soon as we walked in these dragon monsters started attacking us. My BFF karsie was yelling at the dragon people to stop and that we are all on the same side. This makes my noggin very confused. I thought we didn't like the dragon people? But she talked to that dragon with the horns. I think they were on our road trip with us. It's weird that we keep running into them. Anyway they put us in a room and took Karsie with them. But then later they came back and started hurting me. They hurt me alot and I don't like it. I dont know if I'm really cut out for this trip anymore. I found this paw thing that I guess is worth some money. I'm going to see if I can arrange transport for someone to just take me home at the next chance I get. But then I'll miss my friends. But I miss you guys too. AAAAGGGHHH SO MUCH CONFUSION!! Anyway I have to go now, I'll write you guys later.
Arnak (Arnie) Halfshell age 11, only 2 weeks until his 12th birthday passed away this past Monday February 18. Arnak was swept away by strong ocean currents nearly 1 year ago and presumed dead until his parents started receiving letters. It appeared that Arnie was trying to get home, but was held against his will by a group of "adventures" and put in several dangerous situations that ultimately led to his untimely death. Described as a sweet boy with a deep love for all if those around him, Arnak touched the lives of so many. Though his time here on this world was short his deeds and acts of kindness will live on. Arnak is survived by his Mother and Father, and 2 sisters. Services will be held at Round Table Games in Carvershire on Monday February 25th. The family asks that you please bring treats.
"I came to boop schnoopers and bop poopers" -Arnak Halfshell